Rules To Survive In A Horror Movie

Don’t read aloud from books.

Be weary of one with hooks.

Never trust anyone with a crazy look.

Don't believe or trust anything from a crook.

Don’t go anywhere alone- you’re much safer in a group.

Always check the toilet before you sit to pee or poop.

Go straight to the hospital if you have a funny tasting soup.

Make sure there is always someone who runs slower than you, so that you won’t be the one getting killed!

Understand that you may have to sacrifice those who are less skilled.

Never look back to see where the monster/ killer is, remember they are cunning.

And chances are he’s behind you so DO NOT STOP! Keep running!

Always keep a weapon with you, specificity...

Something that will not break, run out of bullets or need electricity.

Never investigate the strange noise. Just get out of there!

Beware, you are doomed if you are having a secret affair

Don't waste time with a prayer.

Watch out, when coming down the stairs.

When running away, don't go upstairs, its like going into a cave of bears.

Never go wandering in the woods.

Especially with baked goods.

Never go wandering in dark a basement or attic.

Don't ever watch or listen to any static.

You probably won’t see the killer until it’s too late, if you are stoned or on any junk.

Also don’t drink. You can’t run very fast when you’re drunk.

Don’t have sex. We all know that the virgin is usually the one who survives.

Always go for the set of knives.

Stay away from small, deserted towns. They’re probably deserted for a reason.

Especially during the cold season.

Don’t open closed doors, especially if you hear moaning, scratching, loud breathing, or any other odd noise.

And do not investigate any mysteriously set off noisy toys.

Beware when in a group filled with unstable boys.

Don’t look behind the shower curtain.

The killer will be standing behind you, that is for certain.

Keep your doors and windows locked! Do not open them for any reason unless you need to escape.

Don't trust anyone with any sort of mask or cape.

Know your surroundings. If the power goes out, you need to know how to escape from the area in the dark.

Or go, at nightfall alone, for a walk in the park.

Be alert if your dog or a neighbours starts to bark.

Don’t bathe, especially if you’re alone in the house/ apartment/ hotel room.

It could be your doom.

Don’t go near cemeteries, funeral homes, or any other places where dead things are.

If you hear a noise, don't stop & look around, just get in the damn car.

Never bother or play with dead things- they might not actually be dead!

Don't hang around a place or investigate anything blood red

And if people are dying around you, do not take any sleep inducing med

If your electronics or appliances start acting strange, i.e. turning on/ off on their own, making weird sounds, etc., leave immediately.

Don't care whether it’s inconveniently.

Always be careful because the killer may have a partner or a twin double.

Don’t be a smart ass; it will only get you in trouble.

Beware of animals acting strange or that are following you around.

Avoid places where kids have died or drowned.

Never trust anyone with a fucked up, dysfunctional background.

Either they turn out the killer or any close to them die, for that, they are renowned.

Don’t babysit. Being a babysitter never results in anything good.

And if shit goes down, you & the kids survive, you should be paid triple & given sainthood.

Don’t go to summer camp, or do any camping in general.

Or any place where people have gone missing, not one but several.

Don’t play with or go near dolls. They may be possessed and try to kill you.

If the dolls move by themselves, get the hell out of there, that's your cue.

Watch where you’re going when you walk or run somewhere.

Don’t hide somewhere where there’s only one way to get in or out.

And if you hear someone you know, they may be the killer so don't call or shout.

If you get away from the killer, don’t go back. If your friend/ family member is back there, call the police!

If you don't and go back there is a high chance you all will end up decease.

If your friend is well versed in horror movies, listen to what they tell you! They might help you survive!

Do what it takes to stay alive.

Don’t invite strangers into your house.

If it an unholy creature, kill it, even if its a child or your spouse.

When you get the chance to kill the killer, do it! Don’t shoot him in the arm or hit him once with your shovel, make sure you get the job done i.e. shoot him in the forehead, bash his face in, chop his head off, continuously give him or it a whack.

With all your might, don't think, only attack!!!!!

Just make sure that there is nothing left & it will never come back.

If someone calls you and asks you what your favourite scary movie is, don’t tell them. Hang up the damn phone.

And call the authorities if you are alone.

If you start talking to him, you might as well pick your gravestone.

Don’t wear glasses. Get contacts because you don’t want your glasses to fall off and your running around blind.

Especially when you’re left behind.

Don’t watch videos that may be cursed. If you do, you probably won’t be here a week from now.

And don't leave it around for your child to find, you shouldn’t have brought it home anyhow.

What are you high? Been drinking?

Seriously what the hell were you thinking?

Don’t go into houses that are known to be haunted.

Especially do not apply for a job wanted

Or the entity may have, with you, bonded

Don’t go into Michael Myers’ house to investigate.

Curiosity killed the cat, it is a terrible trait.

Have a dog with you. They can see/ hear the killer when you can’t.

Don't trust anyone who has wishes to grant.

Don’t wear high heels; they’re hard to run in.

Never stay at a deserted motel inn.

Don't ask “Whose there?” or any other stupid question.

And don't trust anyone with the ‘lets split up’ suggestions.

If it’s Halloween, don’t go out trick or treating or go to a party. Lock all your doors and windows and have a weapon in your hand.

And have escapes all planned.

Watch out for people who look crazy, hitchhikers, old people, children, or anyone who makes you feel uneasy.

Alert someone on staff, security guard or the authorities if you have one drink & taste something funny or it makes you queasy.

Don’t go to places such as Haddonfield, Crystal Lake, Elm Street, Amityville, Bates Motel, Woodsboro, or any other area you have heard of from a horror movie.

And being chased or having weird things happening is not awesome, cool or freaking groovy

And nothing is gained, only made worse by alcohol

Going back to a place where your family and/or you were nearly killed, never ends well & will be your downfall

Never say “I’ll be right back”, because chances are you  won’t be coming back at all

Don't mess with Ouija boards; especially if you communicate with a demon, they never play nice

You or your loved ones will pay a high price

And don't mess with the black arts

It’s how all the fucked up shit starts!!!

But this I can foretell

If you’re not the main character, then you’re fucked, that's it in a nutshell!