I carved you into my skin.
I cut a heart made of scars.
Now that's all you are to me.
Just a heart of scars.
Of all the things I thought she could be.
I found out what she was meant to be.
I know her now as The Heart of Scars.
When I got to know you I had my eyes on the stars.
I thought I had truly seen you for the first time.
I felt the spark and knew the fire in my eyes.
I had traded a friend for a desire of mine.
I did not know I would sever those ties.
I think what I saw in you was fantasy.
I think what you got from me was vanity.
I cut that heart into my skin.
It was to symbolize the dysfunction within.
Symbolically cutting you out of my heart.
My heart covered in the webs you spin.
I still thought we could have been.
But really the game was rigged from the start.
Just know you have no place in my heart
Your only place is on my skin.
So many details that I could dive in.
But this isn't about the details.
This isn't about love but closure.
Closure from cuts that scars would cover.
Closure like the fate it now seals.
To forget the feelings of another.
To close the cover on love I tried to steal.
Now you are gone.
Your bridges are blocked.
This heart of mine has changed its locks.
This state of mind forgot your song.
Now your name is a memory.
Now your name is gone.
Your name now is just like a scar.
I don't know who you are anymore.
I don't know who you were before.
My concept of you was never sure.
Finally now I complete my tour.
Returning from a war you ensured.
Flashing through memories better ignored.
I made a symbol to keep the story stored.
There is a scar on my leg,
a scar that holds a name,
a shape cut with a razor blade,
a chapter of life compressed into a scar.
Now I see just who you are.
I see the journey from afar.
Nothing to me but a scar.
You're The Heart of Scars.
It's the scar that mirrors what you left on my heart.
Now the war is finally over.
It was my razor ensuring closure.
Now I find myself back at the start.
There's a symbol in my skin that's more than art.
I'm picking up the pieces of my heart.
After all that time and effort what do I get?
Nothing more than a scar shaped heart.
-Alexander J. Wolfe
Originally written December 15th, 2021.
-
Author:
Alexander J. Wolfe (
Offline) - Published: January 4th, 2022 00:50
- Comment from author about the poem: I was inspired to write this as a final act of closure for a very complicated situation lasting over two years. I had been participating in infidelity with one of my closest friends girlfriend, and then fiancée. I was completely fixated on her. I was like clay in her hands. I always wanted her to be mine and she was aware. I thought I could just wait it out. We would end things and start them up again just as quickly. I came to realize that I would be stuck in a toxic situation forever if I couldn't cut her out of my life. So I did, symbolically and literally. I used a diy scarrification method to create a memorial of the pain and love I had for her. It was my way to compartmentalize all of into a shape on my skin. Then I wrote this poem in an attempt at closure as stated above. I would like to think these attempts were a success. However I do not condone any form of self harm. And I still deeply regret the things that we did.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 65
- Users favorite of this poem: Alexander J. Wolfe
Offline)
Comments6
If someone could tell me how to separate paragraphs in authors comment. I would appreciate it. If it can be done that is.
I would love some constructive criticism and advice aswell. Most of all, thank you for reading! 🖤
Absolutely love this poem. You put your emotions into words beautifully.
Thank you 😁
I don't think we can separate paragraphs in author's comments. It seems to put the comments into one lump when it saves them.
Thank you 😁
To comment on them of the poem - I'm not professional poet with iambic thingys, etc!
Yes, symbolic, but painful physically and emotionally.
I read a bit: 'A person must be troubled, and at a deep low, to cut up, or do similar things'. Hope your life, or quality of life, is better now.
Thank you 😁. I truly appreciate your concern
firstly thanks for the 🔞
and advise warning, in author's comment
(sadly no paragraphs function
I assume its to save space)..
the most annoying thing
they scream at people
to help with their writing
is 'show, not tell'
and I think, that's what would help your writing reach that next level;
'in my humble opinion'
cutting yourself, is one of modernity's
mindless fads
an extension of the tattooing craze
(a sad cry of aesthetic ownership
since most of us
will go trough our lives
without owning
a single bit of land
and so
we scrape away, and toil
at our skin
like it's a blank canvas
to play with)
but, there are ways
to paint pictures in people's imaginations
without complicated wordplay or crude descriptions
like your verse below:
'I cut that heart into my skin.
It was to symbolize the dysfunction within.
Symbolically cutting you out of my heart.
My heart covered in the webs you spin.
I still thought we could have been.
But really the game was rigged from the start.
Just know you have no place in my heart
Your only place is on my skin.'
could make twice the impact
if your worded it, a little less
blunt, maybe something like:
'tingling skin, remembering
needle prickling
but this ache, dripping
its corrosive existence
into these lines, lies
deeper than mere flesh
and crimson, deeper
where your poison
scarred my heart
scarred me, as if
my pain
fuels itself, relentlessly
from within'
(or something like that
but what do I know;
art is as subjective as it gets, in life
and Poetry
is the most subjective of all
our beloved artforms,
so if you like
how your work looks now
then don't change a syllable,
trust in yourself! above all else
these are just my two cents worth
of a busybody's advise,
pleas know I meant well
and never meant
to disrespect you in anyway,
if you think I did
I will gladly, sincerely
apologise in advance)
thanks for sharing
and Happy New Year!
I really appreciate your comment 😁. I agree on the cutting part, I've since stopped as I realized the danger, and that mindless cuts are a waste of skin that could be unmarred or potentially artistic. The point about showing rather than telling is actually pretty helpful. For me poetry is an outlet that mirrors my experiences. I tend to be very blunt as I put my thoughts directly into words without a great deal of contemplation. I haven't yet developed a significant flair, I write more as a form of communication than an art. I definitely want to work on more artistic imagery so my writings can have some more depth rather than simply telling a story like a memoir. Thanks again and Happy New Year!
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