In my head, I am eleven, 

still becoming a woman, still remembering 

what it was like to write about something 

I knew nothing about. 


Abandoned potential and missed opportunities,

Disappear into a crowd, blend with the masses

losing the remains of who I am in possibilities,

The woman I could have been turned to ashes.


Transgression of divine law, promise to forgive my sin

Ambitions lost to failures, life unbecoming,

Finding my only comfort in empty bottles of gin,

Tell me why I am addicted to my own haunting. 


Slice my throat, cut me open and I’ll bleed ink, 

The corpse of a girl discarded when she can no longer perform

dare defy my words and you'll suffer the rage 

of someone who can no longer inflict harm.


Ice has since replaced blood in what some may still call a heart

Follow unspoken rules and obey silent laws

I don't know, I feel my appeal disappears with my hurt. 

I have no clue what is left of the girl I was.


I have been told  I always smile like I’m about to cry.

It pains me, but I know their anguish.

I’d rather live with the hurt than say goodbye,

but every day, I see my efforts languish.


Maybe I will always write about sorrow, about hurt,  

but if I am able to remember that there's beauty 

hidden somewhere in your eyes, if i can dance, flirt,

I might be able to sit, for once, to breathe and enjoy my tea.

  • Author: Andromeda (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 5th, 2022 10:54
  • Comment from author about the poem: I...have been all over the place lately and I haven't been able to write. But, therapy is a great thing and I think I'm back. Kinda. :)
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 25


  • Buzz Bray

    Wow! "and I'll bleed ink." Very powerful! And it rhymes! Nicely done.

  • Alexander J. Wolfe

    "Tell my why I am addicted to my own haunting." This part is very insightful, sometimes I ask myself the same question. Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you're willing to help yourself through therapy, we can only overcome when we have the will to do so.

  • bittersweet

    i love this
    also "dare defy my words and you'll suffer the rage of someone who can no longer inflict harm." is amazing

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