Lost Control... {My Addiction Won...}

Once again I lost it, Myself control...

It's doing so much damage to my soul...

I can never just let it go...

I knew I should have said no...

But that monkey on my back didn't think so...

Go on just have one, you've done so well not to sur-come to the urge's all year... 

Its Christmas & happy new year...

Its the time everybody, including you deserve a beer or two...

What's the harm you've been sober for most of the past couple of years...

You & I can both handle it...

I promise you'll feel better if you do...

You won't feel like the party pooper, you'll be one of the crew...

You've changed so much you wont revert back to that shit nasty you...

Your in a good place...

What harm could having one little drink do...?

Why did I even entertain the spill you always maintain, pretending your my friend, when your the deceptive part of my brain...

I should have never listened to you, encouraging my darkness to come though...

& that's exactly what happened... Happy Christmas to you...

It tasted to good, one would never do...

I carried on until I couldn't remember me, or you...

Or even how I began the same shit different day all over, once again...

You promised I'd be ok...

Gave me your word that my persona had changed...

I wouldn't let myself down again...

I wouldn't start any fights...

Well that didn't happen I got nicked that night...

& to top it off everyone I spoke to I had to have a pop,

So fighting was my only agenda that really wasn't worth this Christmas & New year bender...

Happy new year to having to start from the beginning again...

One of these days I will restrain not to listen to my addict self that's constantly screaming my name... 

I will become strong once more... 

Happy New Year to one & all...

& well done to everyone that didn't sur come to the demons banging on there door... 

& to those that did It's not the end of the world... 

We just have to give ourselves another go... 

I'll be fighting my recovery until I'm old & grey...

So here's to fighting a new soba day...