Internal

You need to pay attention.

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

A fog?

Mist?

The black abyss?

 

Wrong, you need to pay attention.

You're hiding something from yourself

Holding a secret from yourself.

Now its time to get dirty.

 

You need to wadge through whatever it is, push yourself further from reality. I know you can feel it, it will send shivers through your body. Sometimes you’ll ache in pain, or fume in anger. Are you feeling what im feeling?

 

Go further.

Thats when you will see it.

The child you once were.

It holds everything, reeking of disgust yet it feels so familiar.

 

Let me show you mine.

 

The blackness of the abyss will clear, turning into smoke and finally you can see it. You'll see a small figure, sitting on the ground. She clutches her right leg like its the only thing keeping her there, the other flat on the ground. Her hair the colour of the abyss, mattered into waves around her dirt ridden face that’s squished up against her knee.

 

Her eyes crying the bittersweetness of wildfire, she could burn anything with just a look. She looks fierce yet so neglected. The bones in her shoulders protrude, ratty clothes hanging from a skeleton.

 

She knows we're here. She always knows and always watching, ready to burn the presence of anyone that gives us a sour taste.

 

The closer you get, the more you can feel. She holds everything, to the things that tried to kill us to the ones that tried to abuse us.

 

Her fingers wrapped around her leg are like talons, ready to rip into flesh and her teeth, so sharp that they would puncture your soul. Is she human? no, she’s trauma.

 

I can feel you retreating from yours, I know you’re scared because imagine if yours looked like mine. A feral animal, waiting for their next kill. But looks can be deceiving.

 

If you bend down in front of mine, she will look up at you with fire in her eyes. Her teeth barred and breath reeking of disgust and torture until she smiles, it’s devilish like she’s been planning to say hello.

 

And what do you have to say Alexis?

 

Hi cunt.