Happy birthday Matthew Scott Harris

Yours truly an aging baby boomer
long haired pencil necked geek
trademark disheveled characteristics
whipsawed ever faster around sun.


He (best buddy and alter ego of mine)

snapped, popped, and crackled

firstly his crown out cervix
subsequently skinny arms and legs

(I'll spare ye the bloody graphics),

whence obstetrician able, eager, and
underscored with italics

to pronounce hosannas

regarding garden variety
generic wrinkled newborn
emerging out birth canal
asthma noggin heralded

scrawny newborn, now celebrating lxiii

plus deux orbits around nearest star,
which birth sported an ordinary

uneventful, nonetheless miraculous
biological secrete heave reproductive tricks

immediately screaming
without assistance courtesy
Gran Prix (now pronounced as pricks)

also envision Dolby surround sound

nsync with spastic kicks
'o mine straggly mostly
gangly lovely bones mox nix.


Within some nondescript building
named The Christ Hospital

location Mount Auburn

Cincinnati, Ohio
(the buckeye state)

record number C57587

gingerly handled courtesy
Doctor James Mackay McCord

(ushering none other than me
into the wide webbed world)

bestowed upon bosom of Harriet Harris,

thy young mother of prolonged labor

as his bony ass easily
slipped out uterine crypt,


whereby with Vernix
caseosa, the waxy or cheese
he appeared made rather dipped
in tallow, thence unexpectedly whipped

minuscule fist ready to bump.


Once placenta and fetal membranes
(unnecessary as wing ding)
discharged out uterus
after birth of offspring,
and thar weren't no more
major contractions in the offing

ma mommy lovingly did cling

to her bundle of joy and bring

maternal breast I ravenously
did suckle fortunately toothless
against her tender bosom trickling

(if mammary serves me correctly)

I presently recall no iota of inkling

what events transpired, nope
no recollection about me circumcising.


Moost likely I felt Jew bull lent

glad yours truly chose decent

mother and father, which opinion
subjected to radical change,
when as grown adult child
living nonsocial under

their roof forced to hire agent

provocateur to practice sparring,
when standoff event on horizon,
which eventually begat ultimatums
their red hot poker rage spent

belittling, cursing, damning...

quiet as Unitarian Church mouse content
internalizing later smoldering
anger I needed to vent

in retrospect diminutive little boy

tied to mama's apron strings

afflicted with mental

health issues inherent
of course hindsight gleaned
social, psychological, neurological...

healthy development got rent

asunder partly explaining
why I became indigent.

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