Mountains and Myself

It’s getting warm, birds are singing, the forest emerges green

My second day out in the cold, crunch of snow beneath my feet, the sky above blue and clean

Slide back two steps for every one I take up in the scree

I put a second coat on as I replace my snowshoe with a ski

I move up the endless boulders as the hot sun burns aglow

I breath deep, look around, take it in as I drive my ice axe shaft gently into the snow

My thighs, calves and lungs protest my upwards progress as I struggle to catch my breath and my legs burn

But for the next summit, I always yearn

I force my body skyward, always almost there

Though the pain is intense enough to make me, under my breath, swear

Hot and dry summer or snowy winter, I go

Three thousand five hundred feet at home is, for me, too low

Find the next challenge, the next adventure, push my limits, satisfy my drive

Build my skills and confidence where I could die so I can feel alive

Fidgeting with my stove in the morning, stumbling over knots later in the day

“Don’t let this rock explode into dust,” as I grab a handhold, I pray

Laying in my tent, my legs throb, shoulders and abs turn

I feel miserable hiking out the next day, but within a week, that desire, hotter than ever, comes back to burn

I look to the mountains from my hometown with a smile, break out the maps, what will call me this time?

I need another day hike, backpacking trip, mountaineering summit and climb

At the top, I’ve never felt any great elation

It’s not about the summit, it’s the challenge, pain and pushing on that holds my fixation

Right when I feel I may break, I take ten more steps, once more thrust my axe into the mountain’s side

I feel I’m barely holding onto the mountain, but I push on, maintain my balance and escape the fast downwards ride

I’ve been on the trail for nine days already, it was not just for the final upwards push

The views are great from here, but they’ve been beautiful everywhere for the past week

Then why did I need to climb this peak?

It’s the battle, the struggle, knowing I did it that fills me with glee

It’s not only the pride, it’s not overcoming the mountain, it’s overcoming me