Divorced

Divorced

She was smiling

A small victory

Would he be contesting the house

No

The cars

No

Half the savings

No

You’re agreeing with everything

Yes

I must say, that is very generous of you

He smiled

She didn’t

You’re giving me everything, just like that

Do you have a problem with that

No, I’m just surprised

I think that concludes our business

Hold on a minute, can I sell the house and cars

If that’s what you want to do

Where will you go

I’ll be renting a house, starting again

Two days later

I’m selling everything, moving to Spain

Enjoy yourself

You're settling okay

Yes, thanks

I’ll probably meet someone and settle down in Spain

Okay great

Have you met someone new

No, I’m decorating

Do you want me to pick the paper, you know you’ve no taste

Already picked it

What colour is it

Black

Don’t know if I like black, do you want me to change it for you

No, I like experimenting

Okay, I’ll change the house around then

Two minutes later

What colour should I paint the living room

If you’re selling the house, make it a neutral colour

I think the sink upstairs is leaking, will you fix it

I don’t have transport, plus you really need to be doing this yourself

Well just take your old car back, that way you can pop in now and again

Julie, you said I did your head in, you wanted a divorce. You got your wish. Now you need to get on with it.

I think someone was trying to break in last night

I’m sure the alarm would have gone off

Maybe you could look at it when you’re fixing the sink

My God, what don’t you get, we’re divorced

I know that I just didn’t realise you would be moving out

Where did you think I’d be going, up the chimney

Two days later. Julie’s sister

If you get back together with Julie, I’ll sleep with you. John gives me his blessing. He said he’ll sleep with you too

The brother

You need to take her back, man. I cannot cope with her constantly phoning. I’m suicidal man. It’s that bad, I’m having meetings with her sister, and you know how much I hate that lot.

You bloody lot deserve each other. In fact, I’m going to switch the phone off. Nobody knows where I live. For the first time in my life, it’s all going to be about me. Can of beer, and telly. What’s showing tonight? Ah, caught on camera. Families at war. The street brawl live.

Wow, brother, great punch to Johns' head. Watch Julie’s sister, though. Oh, high heel to the back of the head. That’ll hurt. Aw, Julie, you shouldn’t kick your sister there. That’ll be the sex out the window then. This is brilliant. I don’t know why that therapist said divorce was stressful