Nothing

And for a long time that s all I wanted ,those two seconds of nothingness
Those feelings where everything but nothing matters
Where is never a pleasure but it s an empty cry,no tears,no noises,no pain...
Just starring at the ceiling in the dark ,no thoughts but overthinking everything about everyone, but everyone is myself
And when I think about myself ,I think about,maybe if I was skinnier?,prettier?,smarter?
Maybe then they ll love me, the people around,my parents,my reflexion...
And beauty comes from the inside but when the inside is broken and rotten in an endless darkness, where is it supposed to come from
The moon can t shine for me,but maybe it will shine for you,or for her,she s pretty,she deserves love
That s what they say,not the people,but the voices,that are not even voices,I m just making my problems up
Cause it s not important is it,that s what I always tell my self...others have it worse
But I could never hate myself,I just hate the way I laugh,smile,my legs,my chest,how my hair falls out from stress,but I could never hate myself right?
So when happy becomes empty what do you do? What do I do...cause I never got any good advice but I learned that maybe that s how it s supposed to be
Because she s pretty,she deserves it all, but I do deserve nothing in the end cause I ll never be her,not even for myself...