Anxiety and depression

When people ask me are you ok?
I lie.

I can never expose the truth due to
the fear of speaking you into existence.

You are my judgement,my anger and my punisher,

You are the little voice inside of my head
telling me negative things to do to myself,
I can't forget who I am for the fear I have that I will turn into you.

You try and tell me that we are the same, but I am not you.

You try to make me believe I am worthless and not capable of being loved.

You have my mind wandering what it would be like if they found her body on the floor.

Nerves are so bad, their dead just like she should be


I don't know why I listen to you, you force me to say things I don't mean.

When you send me running around the house in a panic,

When you tell me the closest to love
I will ever come is having the person treat you like your dad treated your mom.

 

My mind ask why you were born just to go through trials and tribulations,you will never be good enough.

I am afraid of the shadows of my mind
of the twisted and warped reality I am living in.

And I scream, because it is all in my head.
I scream because your trying to kill me.

I scream because you are making me suffer, haven't I been through enough?

I know I wasn't supposed to be born and my father didn't want me,why you steady torture me.


I have had ENOUGH. I am not you.
I never was, nor will I ever be
This is only a body, and you are only a feeling, and I will rise above thee.

I am above it all and I will survive and I will love the person who I am, the person whom I am becoming.


Even when you squeeze my heart causing it so much pain,you tell me I'm useless.My body breaks down my emotions are all over the place.

 

Panic makes it hard to breath I gasp for air, just wanting to feel loved.This you know and you use it to your advantage.

 

Please let me go so I can be free from you,stop reminding me of the bad things that happened when I was a kid.

 

I have to move forward and leave you behind,can't let you to continue to control me, I am my own person.I will learn to live without you.