When people ask me are you ok?
I lie.
I can never expose the truth due to
the fear of speaking you into existence.
You are my judgement,my anger and my punisher,
You are the little voice inside of my head
telling me negative things to do to myself,
I can't forget who I am for the fear I have that I will turn into you.
You try and tell me that we are the same, but I am not you.
You try to make me believe I am worthless and not capable of being loved.
You have my mind wandering what it would be like if they found her body on the floor.
Nerves are so bad, their dead just like she should be
I don't know why I listen to you, you force me to say things I don't mean.
When you send me running around the house in a panic,
When you tell me the closest to love
I will ever come is having the person treat you like your dad treated your mom.
My mind ask why you were born just to go through trials and tribulations,you will never be good enough.
I am afraid of the shadows of my mind
of the twisted and warped reality I am living in.
And I scream, because it is all in my head.
I scream because your trying to kill me.
I scream because you are making me suffer, haven't I been through enough?
I know I wasn't supposed to be born and my father didn't want me,why you steady torture me.
I have had ENOUGH. I am not you.
I never was, nor will I ever be
This is only a body, and you are only a feeling, and I will rise above thee.
I am above it all and I will survive and I will love the person who I am, the person whom I am becoming.
Even when you squeeze my heart causing it so much pain,you tell me I'm useless.My body breaks down my emotions are all over the place.
Panic makes it hard to breath I gasp for air, just wanting to feel loved.This you know and you use it to your advantage.
Please let me go so I can be free from you,stop reminding me of the bad things that happened when I was a kid.
I have to move forward and leave you behind,can't let you to continue to control me, I am my own person.I will learn to live without you.
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Comments3
I'm sorry you are going through this. You are your own person. You will survive. All the very best to you.
Thank you🙏
what empowering wisdom
you choose to share, dear poet
thank you!
Thank you
I feel you girl, I suffer with the same thing,you nailed it
I'm glad to hear its more people out their who can relate, we all need to support one another❤
Put your worries into God,and he will carry you through.
Always🙂
Great,where are you from,
Originally florida but live in dothan in the US
I'm from Oregon,my husband is in miami.this sounds crazy,but I feel as if we were meant to meet
Doesn't sound crazy at all everything is meant to happen the way it should🙂
I totally agree
My dear friend
It's great to meet you sister,I'm Melissa Crown,my husband is Dion Phillips Crown,we love the Lord, and I am pleased that we crossed paths
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