Live To Die

Did pain choose me or did I choose pain?

Why do I never really feel grateful and content with everything I own, everything I present & everything I earn

 

Am I just a selfish person or am I reasonable?

They do say that people are rarely satisfied with what they have but why exactly is that?

We think things that will improve who we are and finally we’ll feel content in our own skin

 

After working on and adapting aspects of my life along with getting where I thought I wanted to be; I realise how I’m still not happy. Very few people in my life are people I actually cherish

Although I have these people, I often feel extremely alone.

 

Where do I belong?

I have worked so hard to get where I am yet I still struggle to feel captivated

 

I fight demons on a daily basis and I occasionally come out on top but I cannot win this battle against any voice which enters my brain

Am I a bad person? Is the voice speaking the truth? Waiting for me to tie a noose

The voice that can at times infer that I’m better off dead you see.

 

I’m incredibly numb; everyone perceives me to be okay but is that only because I’m so good at portraying myself in that certain way?

 

What is the point in living when you hardly feel alive?

What is the point if we only live to die?