You.. Only You...

You, only you could do what you do...

Who knew, certainly not me...

You was my first, & thanks to you, you will surly be my last...

The shitty, shitty worthlessness I'm struggling to get past...

I really do need to get of my arse & start a new with no more you...

I tell myself this time & time again, & yet still here I am...?

You tell me what's wrong with me...?

I thought Lifelong & got it wrong...

My perception of you wasn't what was true...

Bloody good at what you do... 

I'm telling you I cant say I never knew... 

Because everyday that inkling grew & grew...

But you knew exactly what to say & do with any red flags that came my way & they did almost day after day...

Actually they still do...

I just didn't want to believe what I now know is true... 

I just wanted to believe every lie ever told by you...

I've stayed for so long because I'm so confused by all that you say & do...

I don't know what's what, I don't know who's who...

I don't know what's a lie or what is true...

I'm un-sure of the stranger I've become, I don't trust anything or anyone...

All I know is it's just feels so wrong & hurts like hell... 

I feel like a nut-case with a cracked shell... 

I feel like I've been cursed by the devil himself... 

A witch has put on me a really bad, painful spell... 

I just can't seem to put my finger on what's right or wrong...

Or have any idea actually what's becoming of this complete mess you've made of me...

It's all quite scary truth be told...

I didn't see it coming, I think you're more than a bit cunning...

Something keeps whispering to me, 'you need to start running'...

You have no idea really what's being done... 

All you know is that you have no one... 

What he tells you is never true... 

But here I still am still doing what I do helping him instead of me...

I'm fighting with the world, I'm fighting against within & I'm fighting with him...

What the hell did I ever to any one net alone you...?

You won't tell me, I can't get no straight answers from you...

The dirty looks & constant criticisms are getting worse too...

Having a dig at me in public & making out you're having a laugh with me is something that is new...

Pushing my buttons, wanting a row that's happening more often than not... 

All these things I'm noticing quite a lot, all of which make me feel shitter still... 

I thought I was imagine it Or being over-sensitive at first especially because you are so subtle in public & you have everyone I know eating out of the palm of you're hand... 

It's more than frustrating for me that nobody else can see Or maybe I am crazy, crazy, crazy...

& it really is all me...? 

That's what you tell me... & everybody...

People think I'm the lucky one having you, But no one has a fucking clue who you are or what you do to the people that love you...

Mentally & Emotionally I'm drained... 

I feel I'm going insane...

you keep telling me it's all in my brain...

You care very little if at all about how you're making me feel... 

You don't even want to listen to the one you say you love...

So what the hell am I still doing fucking living here...?

Because I have no where to go...

No one to turn too...

This you well know... 

You, only you have gained while I'm fighting to hold on to my last breath, losing what little I've got left...

You, only you could be so cruel in my hour of need...

Using my vulnerability...

That's the only advantage you seek in keeping me weak...

I feel so, so stupid...

Yes I do...

Even more stupid that I'm still here with you...

I don't know why either, there's no questions I haven't asked myself, so there's no answers for any of you...