My heart's stuck between a hard place and a rock

My heart's stuck between a hard place and a rock 
if a hard place were you and a rock, these dumb thoughts—

that is, the left and right parts of my brain are still in contention
over whether or not I should just leave these feelings unmentioned.

I should start charging you rent for all this time you’ve spent in my head,
but then I’d have to face you and I think the anxiety would make me drop dead.

Still, I just can’t leave well enough alone, can’t I?
I don’t know about you, but I’m not the kinda guy

who wants to spend the rest of his life thinking about what-ifs and could-have-beens—
Sometimes it’s good to let go, but I never know when.

All I know is that every time I see you, I have to stop and stare
while my breath steals away, leaving me gasping for air

and for a few brief moments, I find that feeling of asphyxiation
to be a euphoric kind of paralyzing sensation.

In other words, every part of me wants to be with every part of you
and as much as I want to deny it, I need to be true—
not only to you, but myself, too.