Housekeeping not a strong suit with the missus

(***warning ungapatchka language ahead***)

 

Hence plead ding for

Mary Poppins wannabe

with snap of her fingers

can affect ship shape

tidiness, which task

needed before May 2022

when yearly inspection

indeed takes place.

 

Flush with rage the spouse

will become allied

if reference made

how she buzzfeeds disorder

altercation especially likely

if divorce blurted

making me wish

to experience (immediately)

bartered bride, when mine

pointed finger doth

nonverbally chide

markedly appalling untidy

predilection she blithely

exhibits woeful scant

interest to maintain

can-do spirit affecting plea

 

zing aesthetic humble abode

ofttimes slacking

off cleaning trail

of abomination, which talent

includes unwittingly cultivating

qua primordial

soup possibly

duplicating conditions when life

originated (bajillion years ago)

on planet Earth

witnessed courtesy think

gummy, groovy, gooey,

gloppy, (nippy, nap, noopy)

protoplasmic slimy

oozing blob (starring

Steve McQueen) amoeba

 

like swallowing small towns

with names such as

Chester Springs, Downingtown,

Phoenixville, & Royersford

hungering, hinting, and hankering

to hasten home hearing

Harris harridan hooligan

hoopla conniption purportedly

linked into order

issued courtesy board of health

for hen pecking

wife to hustle &

make house beautiful for Biden

(accompanied with hit parade)

announcing (yea)

 

at long last Republican

administration overhaul

which fête yours truly slated

to host determined

(weeks ago), thus

necessitating legally wedded

counterpart to apply

elbow grease in tandem

to render spic & span

where unsightly food scraps,

soiled clothes, scattered papers,

et cetera strewn

helter skelter, the disarray

the culmination of 4+

years occupying these digs

in Schwenksville, Pa.

 

Upon being told

"get the place in ship shape order"

she went ballistic like bupkis

fired out me gluteus

maximus, (whereat

I couldn't help but think ICBM)

yea, an incongruous thought

as she rattled vitriolic,

colorful expletives

coarse language enough would

make sailor blush

shutting his yapper uttering before

he even uttered

"shiver me timbers," hence clatter

and din created cacophonous

noise as my fair lady

 

affected one woman

siege warfare as pots and pans

flew pell mell thru air

while I took refuge in fallout

shelter unused since

total mortal kombat destroyed

major swath of webbed

wide world, global debacle

our dear leader triggered

(when in pensive mood) he

lobbed weapons of

mass destruction after being axed

to "go back home" meaning

his mother planet Uranus.