Hairiest

Hairiest butt I’ve seen?

I don’t usually answer questions, but I’m in the mood.

It was 2003.

Walking down my favorite sidewalk on my favorite beach.

Lots of people, lots of animals, lots of butts.

Covered butts, partially covered butts, sandy butts, wet butts,

Cigarette butts, big butts, small butts, dark butts, tan butts,

So-white-they’ll-blind-you-from-a-certain-angle butts.

But then there she was.

Walking in front of me.

Wearing a sundress.

And then, a proverbial gust of wind that I assume someone else prayed for.

Her dress lifts up as she tries to push it back down.

Her head turns to see who’s behind her, to see how embarrassed she should feel.

I turn my head away, out of respect, of course.

Just to see a hairy butt of a man bent down to pick up his child’s crackers that just blew out of the stroller.