Along The Watercourse

At times the river is calm, soothing

The water is serene

I lay on my back to float

I am welcomed by the soft kisses of fish

that giggle and swim away as my eyes greet them

I look upon the sky

The sun is in a passive, tranquil state

I close my eyes and let the water massage my back

I encounter a few rocks

They are smooth, and brush lightly against my body;

libido, compassion, intimacy

The water engulfs me in its arms

It is warm, safe

The sound of water crashing against the land

sedates my over-stimulating brain

I can’t help but smile at whoever looks onto me in the sky

I do not dream of elsewhere

My fingers do not prune

My body is in an everlasting state of repose

Suddenly, there seem to be more rocks than ever before

they grow spikes and points;

uncertainty, gloom, deceit

They lay bruises and lacerations upon skin the water once soothed and nursed,

my skin

I rise from my back, I kick at the creatures

ready to bite any piece of my flesh they can reach

I push myself away from a rock, only to meet another

pointier and sharper

The sun that once smiled at me looks at me with lustful eyes

Its hateful glare erodes my skin

I attempt a retreat in the water

hoping to if not to heal the burns, to protect them from the sun

The water eats at my wounds like acid

The river floor gets deeper

Suddenly I forget to swim

Water floods my ears, my lungs, eventually my entire body

I sink. I sink to the river floor that continues to deepen

I die

If I’m in the river long enough

no matter how many rocks poke at my skin

no matter how many wounds the river bestows

I can never seem to pull myself out of it

Anytime I stop myself at the edge and prepare to leave

another blow from the current knocks me right back in the river;

an excuse, a lie, a couple of words of reassurance

Any lesion that has managed to heal

Is slashed right back open

I dream to be soothed by the river again

I fantasize about the sounds of the water 

the kisses of fish

the river’s warm embrace

the shy glances of the sun

I wish the rocks smooth their surfaces

I wonder what I’ve done to vex them so

What I've done to make them pinch and slit my skin

When the current softens but the rocks still prick

I remain in the river in hopes for just another moment of its sweet serenity