What Am | Suppose To Do...?

What am I supposed to do...?

I can't keep telling & begging you...

You can't teach an old dog new tricks it's true...

I'm too long in the tooth to keep waiting on you...

What am I supposed to do...?

Tell me because truly I don't wanna lose you...

There's a life I should be living instead of just existing...

I fear it's become a habit, this madness that's been going on for more than a year now too...

The gaslighting & love bombing is getting boring too...

Even if in my heart I want for every word you say to be true...

I know they're not because there's never any follow-through...

I'm getting sick of keeping lying to myself too...

Your words are nothing new... 

It's your actions now I've got to listen to...

And they tell me you're done, you're through...

So what am I supposed to do...?

The more I wish & pray for us to be...

The more you seem to manipulate & take advantage of me...

What am I supposed to do...?

I'm drifting further & further away from you...

I can't steer this boat made for two with all its sadness & darkness everywhere revolving around you...

What am I supposed to do...?

It seems going around in circles is becoming a habit too...

Laughing & having fun has become a distant memory... 

I need to feel something I once knew...

I need to do something new...

What am I supposed to do...?

I feel like a stranger trespassing constantly around being with you...

I don't want to leave but I will if I have to...

Please tell me what am I supposed to do...?