Sea of tears

It’s been long

The time between holding you after we had made love till this time when I lay in bed searching still for the comfort of your arms.

No one else’s arms would do and I’m so painfully lost.

You have hurt me, ignored me, turned away from me and still I would run to you if I could.

I would hurt myself over and over to be loved by you for 5 more minutes.

How small must my self esteem be

Or how big must my love be

Or is it both?

When I am with you, you take all my pain away and I am home

Without you now I sail on a sea of my own tears in an unsteady boat that will never be home again.

Without you I feel I will just keep sailing forever, longing to find home, the shore,  but secretly knowing deep down I will never get there.

Was this it for me?

Did I have the love of my life and it’s over?

No more for you now Alice

Where are you my love?

Do you ever think of me at night?

Do you ever wish for my touch?

For my arms to hold you?

My fingers to trace the surface of your skin?

Has it been long for you too?

I miss you so terribly I feel a part of me has died and the empty soulless body simply sails the sea of tears with no aim but to get through each day without drowning.