Jacks In Mississippi

I made it out of Alabama,
but Mississippi isn't any better.
Every time I park my truck,
it gets stuck where I set her.
The first time I stop to get to gas,
there is something wrong,
with the tire in the back.
Now I have to change it.
Does anyone have a jack?
Finally, I'm back on the road.
I think I'll get something to eat.
When I come back out of the diner,
I notice my truck seemed to overheat.
I have everything,
I need in my truck.
There is just one thing that I lack.
I asked the man parked next to me,
"Excuse me sir, do you have a jack".
I am now almost out of Mississippi.
I say, 'Good riddins',
without looking back.
Sigh...
Yet, just before I cross the state line,
my car breaks down.
So before I can leave the state,
I need a jack.

Before we leave Oregon, I'll make sure we get a jack,
So if we have another flat,at least that we won't lack,
We'll also need to grab another spare tire,
And maybe an extinguisher,in case of a transmission fire,
Maybe fill up with oil,fluids and gas to be sure we make it over the pass,
Now we're off to start our new life,
But wait,one more thing, YOU FORGOT YOUR WIFE

How could I forget her? I thought she was here
I remembered my fishing lure and my beer
I guess I left her home, now I'll have to go back
I'll kill two birds with one stone, my wife's name is Jack

As I come out of the cafe I see something bright underneath my truck, as I bend over to see what it is I smell a odor that I have smelled before and I know that I will need a Jack.
The oil in my truck is puddling on the ground due to a hole in the pan that I can see using someone else’s Jack.

A politician came down to Mississippi telling lies.
Attracted to his aroma he was fighting off flies
One old boy said, “They won’t bite”
“It’s just those old circle flies”
“You see them all the time in pastures,
circling around a horses ass”
“YOU CALLING ME A HORSES ASS?”
the politician exclaimed.
“No, I would not do that
It would be disrespectful
I was raised better than that.”
The politician continued his message.
A weathered old woman with a crocheted face
And a straw hat leaned in and said,
“It’s hard to fool them flies.