i am truly in pain

I am truly in pain

I have the intense feeling that I don’t need or want to be alive , but knowing that doing so will cause more people pain that love .  I don’t need to be here I have to ambition , no  love and no hope .  I just want to be free because as I am not is not working out , its not right . but I see incredible people that have been taken away from the world and think why should I get to live if they do not , how is that fare . and day after day I see people live there lives and I now I want to but cannot , one day I will be ripped from this world a month , a year maybe 2 , but I know for a fact it will be at my own hands . some will be deemed responsible for crippling me with these thoughts and hey maybe they will think twice before they speak or do . but no real justice ill be served and that will hurt more than a blade slicing open my veins and deeming me unalive . because I have had years of experience no one can say they didn’t see it coming because the signs were there and as tears fill my eyes and trickle into the slots of my key board the urge to take my live grows stronger and one day that urge will take of my body and I will be a past memory of some one you knew , but please don’t let others suffer the way I have