Eight-year-old little girl
With her own big dream
Her smile is contagious
She’s as happy as it seems
Sitting at the dinner table
Me, mom, and dad
Holidays and get-togethers
As if nothing can go bad
Good night hugs and kisses
Right before bed
The last thing on my mind
Is it would all come to an end
Then from one day to the next
He was nowhere to be found
My heart dropped to my stomach
Better yet, to the ground
More and more every day
Wishing he’d come back
If I could turn back time
I’d be a wish I never had
Now it’s only mommy
Or at least what’s left of her
Trying to get her attention
Or reading being her slur
I then became the one
My siblings depended on
Dressing them for school
Since mommy is long gone
Every day I wondered
What it was I did so wrong
Or why I wasn’t worth it
To then I don’t belong
While he chose to be gone
She found a new love
Instead of being our mother
She chose to marry the drug
Now I wanted out
I couldn’t bare any longer
Everything she took from me
A thief as my own mother
If only I could choose
Between one or the other
Absence or betrayal
Is choose the absent mother
I tried to be the best
Rewards and first place medals
But you didn’t even notice
You’d rather play with the devil
Becoming an adult
With no sense of protection
Desperate to be loved
I yearned for affection
Not knowing what to look for
I chose the wrong men
“Just don’t ever leave me
Cuz that’s all it’s ever been “
Prolonged toxic relationships
One after another
There’s no room left
Scares, they’re all over
It was all I ever knew
So used to the pain
But then it turned to anger
My smile began to fade
As the pain accumulated
I still searched for happiness
Hell, I’ll take anything
To get rid of this emptiness
Now I feel numb
But at least there’s no pain
How can one little pool
Break this ball and chain
I became dependent
It was my only way out
10 years too long
To realize it was the wrong route
Life became harder
As I try to get clean
But now I know why
Mommy was so mean
In my right mind
Anger turned to empathy
Then I began to realize
How mommy felt so empty
Looking for some guidance
That I thought I never had
Little did I know
All along he held my hand
I asked him for forgiveness
And got down on my knees
“Please save my mother,
That’s where no one wants to be “
He soon fills me up with love
That I searched for 30 years
When all I had to do
Was hand him all my fears
Then he sent me someone special
The kind I’m not used to
Striving to make me happy
After all that I’ve been through
Now I want to praise you
For the Unconditional love
For this is confirmation
That I have always been enough
-
Author:
SaveHer (
Offline) - Published: April 5th, 2022 14:11
- Comment from author about the poem: Just a look back at how far I have come from my trials and tribulations
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 19
Offline)
Comments3
Cute write. Thanks for sharing🥂💜🌞🌹🕊
Thank you! 🙂
This is a wonderful poem, I am so grateful that you have found God,and he sent you someone kind and loving
Thank you! This is my first one... but I have a lot of stories to tell that's for sure lol
Definitely keep going,you write beautifully,
Good write.poet on
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