My Secret Candle Jar

I enjoy the feeling of pinprick needles picking and poking at my skin

The sly feeling of hiding my needles in a candle jar in a less used drawer,

The holes in my skin that heal quickly, hiding my secrets

Oh how I smile as I dig in deep into my flesh, attempting to, and failing, to make it bleed.

Failing is an awful feeling, so when I tuck away my “sewing needles” I feel a hint of disappointment, that I did not see the flow of red washing over my skin,

prick prick prick

I keep going and going and going

Before I get so frustrated that I unscrew a blade from a sharpener and attempt once more

“failure failure failure”

A voice screams in my head

This blade is no real blade, but simply dulled

And now I have obtained a stinging red mark on my arm,

that will not bleed…