Doc Drake

He had a tattoo on his head, it read, failure
She had a tattoo hidden, somewhere totally forbidden
Not much hope, he would see them both
So Michael, life sucks, you’re feeling out of it, can’t go on bla de bla de bla
So what's the future
Michael-Me topping myself
I can help there, the express train comes through in thirty minutes, should only take you ten minutes to get to the station.
Michael-Are you telling me to jump in front of a train
Yes Michael
Michael-Right, fuck you, that’s what i’ll do then.
Helen-Well doc, love your therapy, should I just go straight to the window
Call me Drake, and no Helen, what I would like to do is make mad passionate love to you
Helen-Is that not against your Hippocratic oath
Only if Michael comes back
Helen-You expecting him back then
Yes, in about thirty minutes, so we better get started
Helen-You want to have sex here and now
Yes, if you don’t like pleasuring yourself, I’ll do it for you
Helen-How do you know I don’t like pleasuring myself
Because your mother told you not too
Helen-How the hell did you know that
You just told me
Helen-You bastard
Good news Helen, your mother was wrong, you should pleasure yourself as much as possible, even better with a partner
Helen-Do you get punched a lot
I’m a fast runner
Helen-Were you serious
Never know now Helen, I hear Michael coming back
Michael-Couldn't do it, I’m a failure at that too
Have you ever done a driving test, Michael
Michael-Yes, passed first time
I’ll be doing my fifth test next week
Michael-So you’re a failure too
No, let me explain.
The first test I took, I went through a red light. Didn’t pass
The second test, learned from the previous, went over roundabout instead. Didn’t pass
Third attempt, learned from previous, emergency stop. Didn’t pass
Fourth attempt, learned from previous, couldn’t reverse park. Didn’t pass
Michael-So what you’re doing is, eradicating failure, or part failure, knowing that eventually you’ll pass
When I did my medical exam, I knew I was going to struggle at one bit, but when I got the paper back, it said failed, that’s all I saw
I understand what you’re saying now, if I did that exam again I would pass.
Helen, I think you’re slightly nuts, Drake, but you do cut through the bull. Though, If Michael had jumped in front of that train.
No chance of that Helen, they’re on strike
Michael. Drake, was your dad a seafarer then
No, he just liked a particular comedian.