Am jealous
How am falling so hard
After trying my best to self-sabotage
Moments passed in disbelief at how you could treat me so well
Post toxic relationship disorder, I call it
I know he worships the ground I walk on but I can't help but think
What if he's just in love with the soil on the ground, not me
I shutter with every breath I take near you as I realize am drowning
Drowning in the sea of kisses you place on my soul
Without a single hesitation
No, please stop
Your red flags seem to represent the love you have for me
Creating a heart-shaped combination of our bodies intertwined
We scream at the top of our lungs and run back to each other
Tore each other apart and sew the pieces back with a more passionate love story
So how come I am so insecure
You don't hesitate to show me the light at the end of our journey
"We will work babe" you say
I am scared, you are so close but somehow I want you in my skin
To feel your warmth and only then will my inner demons be silenced
I am jealous of how much you love me and I believe all that you say
But deep down am still that traumatized little girl
Are you here to stay, I wonder
Memories are glued to my eyes and each time I close them the darkness seems so bright as your smile torments my soul
Don't go, I want you here
Be my therapy, I know I am well but each time your love fills me up
I shudder to the fears of tomorrow
Hold me tight, feel the warmth in my heart that burns in passion
But scared to burn you to death
Should I fully reveal the beast of my past
Will you find the beauty in my beast
You have been the calm in my storm
Your sense of humor might be terrible but in my mind
You are Joker to my laughter only that this time roles are reversed
You will be the one jumping into the toxic acid of my life but trust me
Our love will just grow stronger
Its the last verge of acceptance
Awww boy, don't tell me I am in love
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Comments4
Yes, definitely tell him everything,it will ease your mind that he knows and that you're not hiding anything,he will understand and hold you tight, kissing your fears away,you do deserve happiness, and if he makes you happy, then let go of your fears and let him love you, complete honesty is the most important thing
If he truly isn't in love with the soil of the ground you walk on but you, then I'm sure even if he hears of your past that broke your heart and is only kept together by your insecurities, he'll want to stay, scrap away your fears and mend it up with deep affection till you forget you even had a past!
wonderfully expressive, a great read!
thanks for sharing
may I recommend a song by India Arie
titled, 'he heals me'
(for that 'he', substitute it
to whatever your preference is)
but the songs lyrics, resonate
with your write's sentiments
I think, like in these lines:
'I can play him songs, all through the night,
And he will listen to every line,
And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.
And yes he is a beautiful man,
But he is also a beautiful friend
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me'
Thank you for the heartwarming words, getting introduced to this song is like a hug I needed in this tiresome week. I appreciate it.
I liked this part in particular:
"
I know he worships the ground I walk on but I can't help but think
What if he's just in love with the soil on the ground, not me"
really resonated :-/ lol
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