If You Had Never

If you had never punched her in her face,
maybe she wouldn’t have felt ugly.
To cut the very lips you kissed as you were saying you were sorry,
Until the next time she tasted her own blood.
If you had never held her hands above her head, while punching her body,
Maybe she would have used them to stroke your face and hold your own.
And after, you would reach for her hand in the car,
And wait for her to dutifully place hers in yours,
as if nothing happened.
If you had never,
kicked her in her chest and back,
maybe she wouldn’t think you hated her body,
maybe she could have used it to show you how in love with you she was. 
If you had never called her stupid,
maybe she would have tried harder to be a woman you could have been proud to love.
If you had never touched her anyway, when she said no
maybe she would have said yes more often.
If you had never left her,
 after breaking her bones and her heart,
maybe she would have made you never want to leave her side. 
Becoming the woman she was meant to be, full of confidence and self worth.
If you had never lied to her over and over,
maybe she would have trusted you with her whole heart,
instead of the shards she would scrape together every time you broke it.
If you had never made her believe you hated the very existence of her,
Maybe those blue eyes wouldn’t have been so sad all the time,
filled with sparkle and light instead of tears and fear.
If you had never treated her like she was nothing,
Maybe she would be the someone, the only one,
instead of all the women that caught your eye, even while she was looking, all the while feeling like she couldn’t compete with any of them.
If you had never taken her love and chewed it up and spit it out every day,
Maybe that same love would have rescued you from the dark place that holds your heart.
If you had never destroyed her,
Maybe it wouldn’t be taking so long for her to pick up all the pieces and leave…like you want her to.