Addiction

It flows through my veins 
it leads me on an adventure bound in chains 
the path is dark with no place to turn
why does it feel like I have to earn my place in this so called life 
my addiction knows no control 
in the night it grows 
in the day I’m froze 
I didn’t choose this addiction it chose me 
I don’t feel like a winner 
but I look in the mirror 
n see I’m getting thinner 
all because of the doctors prescription 
he robbed me of my subscription to this life 
8 years old and I’m eating adderall 
I wonder did they know how far I would fall 
this addiction won’t let go 
maybe because I can’t let you go 
chase the memories with another pill 
hoping to drown out your empty promises 
it feels like rock bottom isn’t bottomless 
I just wonder how much further I can go 
time has sat still since my brothers murder 
now I’m just a lost wanderer in this life 
how long till I arrive to the pearly gates 
because I know I won’t survive this addiction 
Amber now walks with shadows 
and my brother took 20 bullets for me 
he became Katniss
while I was Primrose 
this path made me face death 
I even had to watch her last breath 
this addiction is a threat to my life 
how could someone explain to mom 
this addiction hit me like a bomb 
once upon a time I was happy 
now I’m just a junkie with no money 
I was dummy for trying those pills 
I just gotta wonder how much we further I’ll go 
because this addiction is in full control