Warmer Thoughts

It was in the month of January 

Where I came to make my final revelation. 

The cold gave me clarity

There was no path to salvation-

At least not a path made for me.

 

Where would I wonder once my eyes were closed 

I don’t need something grand.

Just a place I would know;

A place to be blind.

Cause maybe then I feel alive 

I'm cursed by the hands of time.

 

But save it for the warmer months

When the streets have dried from snow.

Save it for the warmer months when there would be less sorrow.

To get addicted to 

Cause I already knew 

These thoughts only grew 

in the cold.

 

I looked up to find February had already gone

I watched as the others moved on

Somehow I almost followed,

But there was something that just left me hollow.

 

But I just had to save this thinking for the warmer months,

The ones that passed me by in a blink of an eye.

Those warmer months when land was hot and dry.

Cause I know I know I know I know I know I know that these thoughts only grew in the cold.

 

Once it left my body

I hungered for more.

Those intrusive thoughts and feelings I learned to adore.

 

But I walked outside and saw them all dancing on;

Part of me though it might be time for me to go along.

But to me that hopelessness was my friend. 

I craved security in the end.

 

By the time I looked up, July was far gone. 

 

And I could be free-

It’s all kind of crazy.

Now back in January; 

Back in the cold.

What clarity will it hold?