Who is my father really

I want to know my father

I'm an old man now with grandchildren some of whom are adults.

I look younger than I am but I'm an old man inside

I have young ideas still even though time and wear have limited their realization a little

My father married a smart, beautiful , ambitious young woman, my mother

He was king of the house until I came along

The firstborn child, a son, a competitor

My mother lavished attention on me and loved me in her way

Before I could walk and before I knew he and I were vying for mom's attention

And I always won

We had an arms length at best relationship until the day he died

He was much younger then than I am now

Jealousy ruined what could have been a fine father-son relationship

Because I'm a pretty decent guy

I pretended to myself and others not to care but I missed having a father figure

It didn't get any better when my parents finally divorced

I'm full of love now and want to give some to him

I don't know how I know but I'm sure it will happen

I want to know what happened to him to make him who he was

I want to know my father.

I want to know my father.