Friday May 13th, 2022

An excerpt taken from a lengthy tome,
written courtesy a favorite poet of mine.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia struck within a blink,
I swear yours truly never took a drink,

nevertheless he witnessed

and falsely accused of being a rat fink,

when everything but the kitchen sink
instantaneously disappeared in a wink.

A quick moving flava flav lava flow

quickly rapped (like a snoop doggy dog tune),

swept, and twittered predominantly

(this only the beginning phase

of Armageddon clobbering debacle),

where nature nymphs, sprites, trolls, et cetera)

decked out with tartan kilted

Scottish residents comprising

the moral majority population

within bucolic community of Harrisburg,

(yes the same place name and Das Capital

of Pennsylvania) before swallowing

(as an itty bitty, teensy weensy

hors d oeuvre), a healthy

barley noticed portion of planet Earth.

 

Faster than a speeding bullet

lubricated with greased lightning,

and one rather extremely uncommon phenomena,

the devastating, instantaneous,

and outrageous volcanic activity,

(that forged the Allegheny Mountains)

unexpectedly goose-stepped,

doggedly catapulted back to life

after a bajillion years of dormancy

entombing, hotly freezing (in perpetuity),

 

and guaranteeing, limning, and ossifying

unchanging lifelong livingsocial abode

of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

at that juncture (of happy and healthy)

within the space time continuum

4 after Midnight, (when Christine
came down with severe bout of misery

qua writer's block), and sponsored

by Plexus, nexus Lexus Wilkie Buick,

who guaranteed their

 

handsomely crafted automobiles

(specially designed with an app

to weather fierce blistering,

pelting thermal withering geologic events,

sans natural catastrophes)

included extra durable crushed bougainvillea

(allegedly beefed chromosomes)

deftly effected fortified (gluten free)

genetically housed immensely

jimmied, kindled, lionized magnetized numbskulls.

 

The volcanic magma seemed to possess

an uncanny intelligent, eerie ability

to discriminate among bias,

die hard extremist stances, liberal take

on hot button controversial issues,

political ultra factions, hence the eye catching,

shining, yet confusing moniker

"Smart Ash" soon codified, fructified, indemnified

with the reputable, musical, and inestimable

qua personae non gratae prodigy Sam Ash".

 

Actually, there did seem to appear

some natural likeness in violent temperament,

resonant penchant, and nascent lambent

Jill Saint John habiliment

between former magmatic material,

and protean Primate prehensile prattling Simian,

who (as a sidereal stellar story teller)

happens to be yours truly.

 

Anyway, due to strict

parochial Lutheran hackneyed dogma,

no iota of boasting, flattering, nattering chattering

allowed from this anonymous,

hip po' eponymous, harmonious, industrious,

innocuous, judicious, loquacious, marvelous,

querulous Norwegian bachelor farmer.

 

Ponder with scrunched furrowed brow

in a serious effort to expound at large

this incredulous nebulous,

shape shifting (than compound

an understandably mixed up notion),

thus now tis a noteworthy opportunity

to point out divulging the name of this scribe

would immediately necessitate notification

of Non-Coms, who would forcibly usher

this lapsed long haired pencil neck geek.

 

This action (not newsworthy in the least),

would thus mocks nix notorious nauseating, nasty,

never-ending nonsensical noodling.

 

How sad, hence tis not wise tune hip

virtual thorn in the dark side.

 

Rather best bet would be to buffer end

this figurative bud dee whiz encased

within corpus callosum.

 

Though identity guard disallows revealing namesake

of this nincompoop, the most information

told about this little known author

can be reduced to one word.

 

That abridged version would deprive

any subsequent reader a brave attempt

to interpret convoluted spaghetti writing.

Despite ambition to bob and weave continuously

(creating a conglomeration of ever increasing

virtual loose threads),

one final capstone concept begs to be conveyed.

Thine ziggurat severely atilt rivaled

(sorry tubby cheesy),

but the Leaning Tower of Pisa!

 

Asinine argot acquired bilious berserk baggage,

which stakes no claim nsync with

longevity, magnanimity, notoriety, et cetera.

 

A series of unfortunate literary,

lickity-split liberty unintentionally

left a prose ache wake.

 

An honest to dogness attempt bedeviled crux

displaying evident fiasco.

 

Slinky circumstances, sans synonymity,

synergistically, and synchronicity

yielded a feeble effort at fame.

 

Birth thing a complex mental edifice

begot aborted aspiration foray zing

grateful, mindful, and respectful characterization.