Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...

dramatically expanding spouse,
when adorning buttons

pop off undersized blouse

which spurs yours truly to grouse,

and ruffle mine tail feathers
while listening to Scheherazade.

Eats her weigh out of home and house

unsolicited feedback courtesy

quite doubtful, she could pose
for playboy and/or penthouse

returning explicit volley
of trailing appellations lobbed

expletive laced epithets
directed at her husband the louse

in lame retaliation deftly
sparring as he doth rouse

himself out of his vittle catatonic state

thus muenster ring cheeses crust
squeaks (me) meek Mickey Mouse.

When I did pledge troth
after courtship she would not abate
aboot two plus dozen years ago
(spoiler alert) wheezing
heterosexually straight
half heartedly accepting her

asthma wife sne...
snee...sneezing mate

even then, she exhibited
appetite for consumption
defying four foot eleven

petite size then, a score

plus quarter years ago lightweight

possessed cute figure.

Now, she eats
non stop while rocking round the clock

stationing, lumbering, burgeoning
girth casting dock

shadows analogous to
edge of night
donning humongous frock

to allow growing room
for extra buttock

vacuuming any/all
comestibles in sight

downing, emptying, gulping
refrigerator contents chock a block

nearly suctioning him,
who doth tongue in cheek mock

think apple pie, yet for
grace of dog ad hoc

anchoring spindleshanks laughingstock

skinny chicken legs (mine)

with knees that knock
worse than concentration camp victim,
(this gentile Jewish atheist gently pock
king fun without intent to rock
the casbah, nor ethnically clash
mainly innocent poetic schlock),

nonetheless chicken legs
repurposed to anchor lock

stock and barrel Matthew Scott

madly flapping wings imitating flock

of seagulls to no avail

this shabby not so chic flabby baby boomer
body, mum mama
(deceased eighteen plus years)

followed dietary strictures touted by

the late Doctor Benjamin McLane Spock,

no matter, I got hoovered
into maw of tee misses,

who instantaneously
spit out awful poppycock.