Love

I love, love but I hate it.

I don’t love in the way that you love a new song that came out or your favorite TV show. I don’t love in the way that they show in movies or describe in songs. I don’t love in the way that you’re supposed to.

I love hard and I love reckless. I love you so much, I lose myself  so you can find yourself.I give everything to you until you have everything you want, and then you leave. I love you so much that I know everything about you but not in a good way. I analyze you when you are mad, happy, anxious, and passionate. I know what you are thinking and feeling before you do, and you might not like that but that’s the way I love. I love you and I become obsessive, possessive. I start to need you to survive when you go about your day. The feeling is never mutual and I’m okay with that.

I love you when you hate me. I love you when you have had enough of me because I can sympathize with you. I know I am too much for you and I know I’m not easy to handle, trust me, i get it. I love you when you decide that it is okay for you to leave me. I would leave me too, it’s okay, I understand. I love you even though I have lost myself in the process. I have given you everything and you don’t need me anymore, maybe you never did. I love you even when you have stopped loving me.

I love love but I wish I still had myself

I love love but I hate the way I do it

I love love but I miss innocence 

I love love but I am not stable

I love love but I despise it

I love love but I can’t

I love love