I crowned the write full missus "champ paean practical joker"

The following moniker “innocent prankster”
awarded, hashtagged, and qualified wife
as trickster de jure appended
to alluded spouse

(then of twenty five plus years),
when she pulled a doozy ruse
upon me innocent gullibility
approximately eighteen months ago,
which aftertaste still lingers in my mouth.

Unbeknownst, the wife

appeared unusually upbeat,

she did pretend and succeed

to give yours truly a special,

albeit waxy wick head treat

aforementioned item alluded to purchased

at Liberty Ministry thrift store

3841 Ridge Pike

some miles further west

same road identified as Main Street
encompassing countless communities

including Collegeville, Pennsylvania 19426,

I can show you proof courtesy

printed information on pocketed receipt.

That past holiday times

more playfulness than usual awoke,
whereby the missus appeared,

coquettish, frisky..., especially nonchalant
pestering one garden variety

generic husbandly bloke

(christened Matthew Scott Harris),
nearly swallowed bait
hook, line and sinker,
yet courtesy dumb luck did not choke

would with pursed lips subsequently think

and or mouth the words okey doke

what in the name of Judas Priest
more strongly worded ejaculation,

this token poet didst NOT evoke

by George, he a run of the mill

on the floss ordinary heavy mettle folk

thee spouse got mischief

up her (figurative) sleeve

thespian wannabe she never quite...

her constituted stardom quite a joke.

She practiced April's fool day

(hoping nobody noticed -

particularly this aspiring paperback writer

as she looked askance)

every time she got a chance

gleefully clapping her hands

while performing an impromptu (risque) dance,

when she pulls off buzzfeeding

twittering jumpstarting her coaxing

beatitude procuring tom foolery to advance

hat tricks of her trade

taking Europe in general and France
darting at yours truly errant furtive glance

sketching, kickstarting, extracting character
while minding metaphorical lance

in particular by storm think sturm and drang

madding crowds clamoring to prance

analogous unsung Juke Box hero.

The words mentioned above intended for you

dear anonymous reader to woo

allowing, enabling, and providing how I view

livingsocial linkedin with good n plenty true

value without a dark shadow of doubt
poetic license taken,

these words zealously, randomly, haphazardly

scattered across screen willy nilly I spew

trying to coerce coalescence of continuity,

yet additionally trying to weave events

earlier that December 22^nd 2020, I review,

whereby yours truly while waiting in a queue

assorted merchandise fifty percent off,

the spouse did avidly pursue

unbeknownst she would play a prank and outdo

pulling a doozy gag at my expense, he took netview

of utter tomfoolery, and readily admits Matthew

Scott Harris, nearly ate

"faux chocolate soap"

finding wife in stitches, he too

did chuckle, cuz he knew

supposed treat smelled extremely fragrant

cocoa confection fortunately, I did not chew

but promptly spit out after sneezing atchew!