Buried

What did you think

When you looked at me?

Was I something pretty?

Were we meant to be?

What was going through your mind

When you set your sights on me?

Did it feel very wrong

When you leaned down and kissed me?

I wondered what you learned;

What was done to you;

How could it be ok

For you to follow through?

You were Fifteen -

Not that young for you;

But I was only Eight - 

When you left me dazed and confused.

You chose to take my innocence

You made me feel weak.

You focused on the young and naive

My life became incomplete.

More memories are starting to surface

Starting to seep through

Learning more and more of what you did

I'm learning more about you.

Horrible things happened to me

I blocked out for so long.

Little by little the pieces are put together

And everything is just so wrong.

It makes so much sense now,

For some of the things I've done.

I can trace it back to you

Where it all begun.

I didn't know!

I didn't see,

What you were doing -

How it would affect me.

Explanations for my behaviors - 

Now I can finally see,

There is something wrong with you -

It's not me!

I've been trapped for so long

Not understanding why

Feeling at times I should,

Just give up and die.

I still don't understand

Why you did what you did

Especially given the fact

That I was literally, just a kid.

To move forward, 

I must look back.

Process all those memories

Then throw them in a sack.

I can no longer hide

What happened to me.

I need to process everything

So I can be free.