Dead (unfinished)

a thousand wishes

So obsessed with yourself

you don't see anyone else

are we even inside your head?

I bet you´d rather we were- 

 

They say it gets better with time

I think that´s just another lie

cause I look deep down inside, 

and I´m scared of what I find 

 

 

 

 

  • Author: a thousand wishes (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 9th, 2022 09:35
  • Comment from author about the poem: THIS IS SO UNFINISHED. I just need a little help...Please help guys.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 30
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Comments1

  • GON

    my first thought is that i'm wondering who you're talking to. what you're in a position to do in order to illustrate that as a writer is describe further his/her character by shining some light on things he's done or said and reflecting your own thoughts off of that.

    • a thousand wishes

      Well, the first stanza refers to one´s parents/ relationship with them. and the second one is saying like will I end up just like them, am I just like them? That inside I feel similar to them, and it's scary. I want to describe how I feel inside, what I see you know? but that's what I started in the second stanza. Like I don't know maybe ¨A girl that's in her mind, so angry all the time, always caught up in their lies¨ I really don't know I´m at a loss

      • GON

        You can focus on yourself (or the girl) after you've illustrated the character of the person you're addressing. At least, that's where I think you should go.

        • 3 more comments



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