A day of reckoning!

I feel my presents unknown. It's a mystery or is it a fact that I wish not to contract. My thoughts drift skimming along a landscape to which I only know, feelings, thoughts, brief flashes of the past somehow from a paradox of shape of texture and of space. Space it's all these, a floating painct, under a floating plain. Life seem to leave enveloped these places I see, I feel, I touch, I know? However, this space is of no real place, only unto myself, a conglomerate of functions stored within the bindings of my soul and of my being alive. So who am I, who are you my long time lonely friend. Why are you! I feel shadows, I feel schists forming into so many plains, I feel adrift in this paradox. I see and there is a catch twenty two answer my question and find a twist like the matter ejecting funnel from a supermassive black hole in a place faraway galaxy M87. Polarized I drift changed with the gift of love. Polarized, with the gift of sensitivity my heart, longs for a quenching of its missing fulfillment. So I drift afraid to touch its outer shell for to do so may cause a huge envelopment to open and implode all of those needs to rush forward to embody my consciousness, my body to become flushed with anxiety of need. To yearn for love, to look for this mythical thing. Is it all I want and need for to lie in peace knowing my heart beats as reciprocal or is it a Telepathic dream. So many claim thoroughly it to be the true fix all and like a sheep's in wolfs clothing they stalk me to fulfill their bounty. I love the real duck tape in our love and happiness? So do you trust, do you try or do you lie down and die. So to wince again numb feelings abound in my temporal runaround. Only to find some answers, only to find an end to this strife which holds me back from seeing that which I would like. The pain is so deep the pain has such might I often feel horrible at night. However, I see a destination because I see enough to find it right and to right it down gives me great pride. So with work I go on finding pieces, finding tidbits of information on this journey of growth this journey of life all to find what's right to fulfill my life without strife and to go on and be happy with time.