Across figurative and literal blackened white board...

Where death of democracy writ large,

nevertheless psychological strength predominates

unlike earlier chapters of mein kampf.

 

Mine hardscrabble existential debacle

spelled losing game

swept me up in malevolent mindset
far adrift from harbored haven;

I floundered like a fish out of water

entangled within woebegone raid.

 

No matter figurative bar

to challenge yours truly

chiefly afflicted academic motives

set ridiculously low,

impossible mission presented

to kite, overcome, and transcend

mental, physical and social impasse

rather I remained

immobilized, paralyzed, unmoored

to hurtle myself across

horribly graded daunting challenges

with flying colors

and thus never established

storied track record.

 

Oft times (more so

during formative years

of boyhood and adolescence),

I experienced absolute zero ambition

wretchedness being alive

spurring wonderment whereby thoughts

of my demise didst drive

analogous to buzzfeeding bees

combing into their hive.

 

Giddiness nursed, prevailed, and thrived

when coronavirus (COVID-19)

warranted quarantine to diminish

transmitting pandemic virus thru the air

lifestyle change no major imposition,

cuz yours truly already familiarized

with self isolation

courtesy his social anxiety despair

schizoid personality disorder the diagnosis

nsync with loathsome

body morphology toward self

viz mental health impasse a legitimate malady

impossible mission possibly

since in utero didst impair

minimally abetted courtesy

Buffalo wing and a prayer

wishful thinking only death can relieve

some recently approaching year.

 

Indifference toward self sums up story

qua deadly mindset to whit

resignation to cash in chips

at a tender age, I did submit

evidenced courtesy abysmal grades
and exhibited resignation

where effort to succeed did quit

during stint as student

kindergarten and first grade the exception

earning appellation dummkopf or nitwit

showcased apathy to access ability and excel

stage door left, I wanted to exit

overshadowed courtesy powerfully pointed outlook

within his bedroom at 324 Level Road

sequestered long haired

pencil neck geek hermit

four familiar walls constituted ambit.

 

Refuge sought vis a vis

withdrawal viz yule eyes

starved body, mind and spirit

from webbed wide world
which as prepubescent

constituted narrowly circumscribed range,
whereby I denied,

juiced refused sustenance

(think anorexia nervosa,

thus these lovely bones withered away

thankfully dearest mother

(a licensed practical nurse)

of course intervened without delay

 

belated acknowledgement

regarding maternal love hip hip hooray

enrolling expertise psychiatrist

of Doctor Ted Goldberg

at Collegeville Community counseling

to ameliorate psychological internal melee

running rampant and roughshod

within me psyche

pushing self destruction

down into stairway
entering portals of hell

analogous to Earthen bowels

deep within Zimbabwe.

 

Whether the above sentence incidental

to feeble attempt at reasonable rhyme

so please geography buffs pardon moi

add dull less cent delinquent puns

he did cashier plus

any unintended faux paus as aspiring poet

artfully crafts elaborated gimcrackery,

albeit impious kooky mishmashed

outlandish quirky esse aitch eye tee.