I’m okay
At least I'm okay
I’m not okay
I am not okay
I need a change
Something needs to change
All these voices in my head
Telling me what I feel
All these different feelings
That I can’t decipher between what's real and what isn’t
All these voices in my head
Telling me what to do
Telling me...
Yelling at me
What to do
All these voices in my head
That I can’t seem to get to go away
Why won’t they go away
For once I would like them to go away
Damn it!
Just go away
I’m okay
At least I'm okay
I keep telling myself
Even though I know it’s not true
It feels like I'm drowning
With all these voices in my head
I’m numb
No matter what I do
What I say
Nothing..
Nothing seems to make any sense anymore
I just go along with the motions of the day
As if…. as if nothing matters anymore
As if I don’t matter anymore
Not to me
Not to my friends
Not to my family
I’m numb
Just going though the motions of the day
Just doing the same old thing day after day
I’m okay
At least I'm okay
I keep telling myself
But...
All these voices in my head
Have taken over
Have taken over what I say
What I do
How I act
All these voices in my head
Have taken over
Have taken over my body mind and soul
I need a change
Something needs to change
I have tried changing things before
But nothing seemed to work
I tried getting helped
But…
It either didn’t help or
do anything or
No one was listening
No one was paying any attention to me
No one ever listens to me
No one ever pays me any attention
All they ever do is yell at me
All they ever do is tell me I’m doing something wrong
All they ever do is blame me for stuff
All they ever do is treat me like their sounding board like I give a shit
All they ever do is stick me in the middle without asking me how I feel about it
And when I tell them to stop, they don’t listen
No one ever listens to me
No ever pays me any attention unless it's for their own benefit
I’m okay
At least I'm okay
I keep telling myself
Then why is that all I want to do is to cry
All I want to do everyday is cry
Every waking hour
Every waking minute
Every waking second
All I want to do is to cry
I cried almost every day for three years straight
So one may think I'm all cried out
But apparently, I still have more tears to cry
I’m okay
At least I'm okay
I keep telling myself
And others
Maybe hoping that one of these days it will actually be true
Maybe hoping that one of these days I will believe it enough to where it would actually be true
Maybe hoping that one of these days I can stop faking being okay
That I can stop faking all the emotions I say I am when someone asks me how I'm doing
This is my cry for help
But no one will ever know
-
Author:
Hannah F. (
Offline)
- Published: July 5th, 2022 23:54
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 17
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