A Conscious Decision? Or Addiction.

Light red lines raised like goosebumps,
my forearms littered with failures.
The mirror shows a hollow image,
in all the horrid details.

Afterthoughts cloud me,
ever so slowly.
I’m reaching my highs end,
so shake it off and start again.

Deep within I know a truth,
a secret pushed away.
It pulls flesh from bone,
as long as I need it.

I’ll ignore it until it hurts
its cries are like fireworks.
While my body’s engulfed,
and it’s taken everything,

I feel it reside beneath my skin
as it screams and shouts to hurt again.
But it can wait another day,
I need to hear the rain’s take.

Seconds go by as does the storm,
the clouds leave me,
until the next day.
(The next pain.)

Grey’s and white’s,
a perfect hue,
color my world anew.
It seems I’ve sung a different tune.

A short, bittersweet ensemble.
Pushing through the rough patch.
Practice until perfect,
how easy it is!

Melancholy mixed with red,
and a beautiful life that I’ve led,
I’d leave it behind to feel again.
only for you my sweet, sweet, lead.