Where Hope Doesn't Grow

Feel like I'm not myself
Drowsy and off my meds but I can't tell
What's happening; locked up inside this shell
Within my brain crawl maggots from hell
Boring a hole in my psyche
Expose the festering wounds that I've taken lightly
The price for ignoring this pain
Is getting a taste of losing my mind

Lost within caverns of my own soul
Deep inside the valley where my hope doesn't grow
I cannot ignore it 'cause I don't know
That I'm not going insane; no one there to tell me it's okay

In my thoughts, sifting through the trauma and the putrilage
I'm used to it, but right now, it's hittin' like I'm new to this
I thought that I had conquered the abyss, that I had worn the crown
But in the deepest fissure, I have found a path further down
Where there is no foundation; where my mind cannot contain
The desperate cries of a vagrant, wretched beast without a nation
Pull the skin off my finger to remember that I'm here
Fantasies realer than memories have appeared
"Do not fear" is what I'm tellin' myself even though
All I can think about is how much I wanna pick up the glizzy and kill myself
I do not fear my death, it's all I can count on when things go left
I still don't know how to deal with stress, nobody taught me to love myself
The silence is so loud that it's all that I can hear
My eyes are liars in denial drowning in my fear
Hairs stand on end because I sense the beast is near
Why is the path forward never clear

Lost within caverns of my own soul
Deep inside the valley where my hope doesn't grow
I cannot ignore it 'cause I don't know
That I'm not going insane; no one there to tell me it's okay