Growing old without my Suggie

I have been feeling unsavory about growing old and how my life will end. Its so hard to put yourself in a place that will make me feel like I have found and fulfilled my life to its end. Its so short and I want to find someone since in it all…she is growing so fast I keep mind every day and everynight. Almost dying have made me realize the importance of your life. People don’t care and I feel like crap about that…why does it seem that I don’t have any time left. Pressure make me think of our lives together while I was away, your aways on my mind. In my mind it all about moments with you, me, its frightens the crap out of me that i can't see you. The cost of everything on my soul is troubling and I am worried about this dam shit that has happened. I am not responsible for these feeling that have been eating me alive. Sick of the issue that makes me worry and not trust anyone that will keep me alive. I know death is on my door step so I need to make the best of it before I turn acian grey again. I just want to give and share  my love to you, is that too much to ask. In moment you can die living wrong but trying to be healthy and its 'complicated'. I want to be around those who love me time is just whisking by I want to find suggie someone to laugh with and have fun and bring you love. I want time with you who loves me if you remember our heart. Is that too much to ask for in this lifetime. I didn't cause this to happen I only want love and to share my heart as long as i can. With a deep loving soul...daddy.