Send Over a Friend

911, what’s your emergency?

I think there’s someone snooping
right outside my home,
he looks armed and dangerous,
and I am all alone.

Ma’am, is that you again?
This is the seventh time you’ve called;
you can’t keep faking an emergency;
the system’s not a joke.
Now you may enjoy the attention,
but I can’t encourage this,
if you call again
I’m afraid you’ll be arrested.

Now before the operator
could cancel the call
he heard the woman cry:
Please don’t hang up the phone!

All my friends have left me
to a better place up high;
my husband’s up there with them
he’ll probably watch the game tonight.
And I haven’t seen my daughter
in twenty years—has it been that long?
We had a falling out about her husband
and the way he treated my grandson.
It’s hard for me to leave this house;
I’m trapped within these walls,
and, my dear, it gets so lonely
talking to the photos in the hall.
And I know I’m being a nuisance
but you answer every time I call again.
I guess all I’m really asking
is if you could send over a friend?

For a moment there was silence
as a tear rolled down his cheek.
He took a deep breath and told her,
Ma’am, I’m so sorry.

I understand these times have been hard
and we could all use someone to talk to;
here, I’m going to give you a number;
please call it when we’re through
and leave 911 to emergencies only;
do we have a deal, then?
This number will reach somebody
who can send over a friend.

800-971-0016: Senior Friendship Line