22.05.31 hope

i desperately hoped that i could relate a song to him

so when i listened to the song, i would think of him.

luckily i chose a song that i listen to religiously

a song by an artist i would give up my life for.

every time i listen to it now

i think of not him

but instead the fact that i wanted to think of him. 

because no white boy would ever look in the direction of a brown girl

obviously.

so the rare moment that i had his attention,

i knew

we were soulmates. 

soulmates that nonstop spoke to each other in such eloquent poetry,

so eloquent that nothing each of us said could be understood by the other. 

we were meant to be 

shattering each other’s glass hearts

because we saw right past each other 

but reached out our hands the moment a connection was possible. 

i reached for the validation,

he reached for someone he could go inside. 

our hands got tangled in that hope i once kindled. 

 

but so what. 

 

i listen to the song every day. 

i think about wanting someone 

who thought about ripping away my purity. 

it’s so nice to know

he thought about me.

i hope he still does.