Once Alive My Heart is Now Numb

seabeequeen29

Like fire flowing through my veins
All I feel inside is pain
To numb myself from the world around 
Is the only thing on my brain right now 
An empty bottle
Small white pills
No matter what they both can kill
Just like the knife gripped in my hand 
I can end it all with one command
As the blade slices through my skin
The blood starts to drip and release the hurt from within 
When none of these are not enough 
It’s time to turn to harder stuff
Powder that is white as snow
Or liquid that can make your veins implode
The high you get when the drugs sink in
Cause my head and the world around to spin
Up so high, afraid to come down
I know when I do I’m going to hit the ground
When that time comes I don’t want to feel
I don’t want to know this hurt is real
Eventually it becomes too much
I just want the voices to hush 
When all else fails there’s one thing left 
Cut off my air and stop my breath
A rope, a pillow or even your hands
Anything to follow through with this plan 
Pressure applied, the world starts to go black
At this point in time there’s no going back 
The blackness starts to consume
There’s quietness around the room 
My eyes glass over, my blood turns cold 
My heart has stopped, my life dethroned 

  • Author: seabeequeen29 (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 2nd, 2022 13:57
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 65
  • User favorite of this poem: tallisman.
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Comments2

  • evenwheniLie

    Culture can be a overwhelming thing, even uproot what’s natural, the way we culturally are taught to love and define love leads us to dark but beautiful poems like yours poet. The only love has to be all inclusive with yourself in the picture; I say has to be because it’s the only way we can love without hurting ourselves, it is the jewel left after all the dirt has been cleared away. Take care beautiful writer of poems.

    • seabeequeen29

      Thank you for those words. Love does lead us to dark places but you are absolutely right, love has to be all inclusive with yourself as well.

    • tallisman

      A deep and dark but effective poem, well written!



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