I don’t believe in god

I don’t believe in god

if god was real they wouldn’t have put you in my life

just to take you away

if there was a higher power or a bigger meaning

you would still be here

I am so tired

tired of the thought of life without you

making memories alone

no one to share life’s most meaningful joys with

no one to share a meal with

or give me the pickles off your burger because you don’t like them even though you really gave it your best shot to like them for 6 years because you knew I loved them so they must be good

no one to lay with

no one to tickle or make little noises as we try to fall asleep for the millionth time but can’t because we’re enjoying eachothers company too much

no one to reflect on the fun we’ve had and how much fun we’ll have in the future

if god was real I wouldn’t have this pit in my stomach

I wouldn’t have to know what heart break is or why I keep calling my mom telling her I feel like I’m dying

if god was real I wouldn’t have to decide which pots I’m keeping or who’s going to take the cats

if god was real you would look me in the eyes and take it all back

give me a kiss and tell me it’s going to be okay

so we could experience a million more 6 month increments together