Self

Self

You write all these poems
And speak of finer things
Like oceans with vast waters
And a beauty that still sings

You wanted me to grow 
You wanted me to be strong 
You wanted me to write 
So I could belong

I chose this destiny 
In hopes that I could make you proud
I chose to sing your songs
Even while standing in a crowd

I am speaking to myself
In all of the ways I know how
But I am still struggling with it
As I lower my head to bow

My tears can't wash away my actions
My words rip others apart
My heart is full of rain
I don't know where to start

I feel like I'm going crazy
And its all self induced
The lines start to blur
Once I look for the truth

Will I find the strength
To amend all thats been done
Can I pick up the pieces
Of what I've become

Can I fix the crown upon my head
And stop breaking others down
Can I become better
Or should I throw away this crown

God I wish I had these answers
Please show me how to be like you
Show me how to find myself
Just tell me what to do

I need you to help me save myself
So I can walk through your gate
Im dedicated to this life
Walking with you is my fate

A.D. Small
August 11, 2022