I loved you all your life

I loved you all of your life and will miss you all of mine.
My child turned into an angel, robbed of the luxury of time.
My heart cries as my soul dies, while my mind often daydreams    
I see you; I can feel you, how cruelly real it seems
The loss of a child is a hell all its own, a torment that never breaks
Every waking moment I tend my laceration, while praying this all is fake
The reality smothers my life, my futures snuffed out of its flame
The pain in itself is maddening, as it slowly drives me insane
I’m wandering, I’m searching, I’ve lost all my desire
How am I to survive this war, weaponless stuck in the crossfire
I was not prepared, but who could be?
This part of your story, I didn’t want to believe
A mother’s heart was not designed to outlive her child
It was made to love, to fight for them, but instead I am exiled
A black sheep amongst the other mothers, who don’t know how lucky they are
To have their babies in their arms tonight, while mine is amongst the stars
As I write out my pain, it’s all in vain, for it will not bring you back
I try to carry on each day, while my griefs at bay, waiting to attack
The only thought that keeps me going, is knowing I will see you again
As I’m stuck in this limbo, I pick up this pen, and will write until then
To remind the world of your name,
For without you, my angel child, I will never be the same