Weekends

I used to adore you

I used to get excited for you

You were my favorite part of the week

Remembering back to childhood, I did so many fun things every time you came around

I bet you remember, too

Playdates, sleepovers, riding bikes and scooters around the neighborhood, gossiping about drama, flirting with all the cute boys, just to name a few

Yeah, you met quite a few of my friends and got to experience our craziness

Thank you for putting up with us and all our shenanigans

I really appreciated you

You never complained about all the chaos from us kiddos

In fact, you always seemed happy to host us and be involved

But now, things are different now, aren't they?

Have you noticed?

I sure have

I kind of despise you now

I don't get excited for you anymore

Sadly, I cant even say that you are still my favorite part of the week

Honestly, I don't have a favorite part of the week, anymore

I mean, you see what I've been doing

Which, you can be honest; I know, it's pretty pathetic

It's pretty much nothing

Yeah, I don't get out as much as I should be, or used to

I don't have the adventures I used to

I don't have the friends I used to

My Saturdays and Sundays have become like Mondays; boring, stressful, painful, and tiring

They consist of these things: staying at home. Staying on social media way too long either trying to make friends, or looking at other people's relationships and getting jealous. Doing a bunch of chores to keep me busy and distracted from my problems, or avoiding chores because I'm too sad or frustrated and just want to sit around and mope. Talking to myself either tearing down my self esteem, or a silly, cheesy pep talk trying to reassure myself that everything is going to be ok. Literally sitting on my bed or the couch staring into space, overthinking my entire life. 

Basically, wasting my time and being unhappy

Weekend, do you miss the good ol' days as much as I do?

And please, don't think I hate you

I know I said I despise you, but hear me out

It's not you I'm really mad at

It's not you I'm sad about

It's not you I'm holding grudges towards

It's change.

It's fear.

It's pain.

It's loneliness.

These are my real enemies

-Devorah F. Pleva