Her Past Scars

She dont expect anyone to understand The demons she been fighting She just trying to get thru another day Because giving up aint a option. she dont want to be a burden. She ain't asking for y'all sympathy she ask for yall patience With this fragile heart because it still break inside silently. It took her a long time To come to this acceptance Because of the choices she made is why she lost custody of her children yall forget she still human Waking up every day without her team Is her hardest reality she living with. She knows she did it to herself She brought her own hell. Their aint no excuse this was the hand she was dealt. Its been the hardest fight of her life. Where do you find forgiveness in oneself? For so long she blamed God and her family. Refuse to take accountability For her mistakes she made. Running from a past She couldnt face so she took that hit to ease her pain. It took losing everything she love. To letting her addiction win. Struggling homeless broken in the street To find her strength within. So she could build herself back up again. It''s been her hardest fight With her heart and soul.Today her oldest son Turned 11yr old. His second without his mother. Damn she missing out on everything. All their birthday and holidays. Do to her selfish needs. They never asked for this. It aint fair to her children. Growing up way too fast. Because of her they hurting.It breaks her heart to even fathom What they going thru inside in the back of her mind She feels where the pain resides.She sees her daughter smile Hear her sons laughter Crying out to the Lord where do I pick up the pieces of what's left and start over?To my children Mommas 4 heart beats I love you guys so much With everything inside of me I pray y'all remember this. This was never your guys fault. Mommy is still healing From a painful past she ran from long ago. She finally sitting in her feelings. At war with her demons. Ocean of tears filled her eyes. She hugged the Lil girl within For the first time. Promised her from here on out Everything would be alright She whispered time to forgive Daddy Do it for yourself set the pain free I know it hurts something you never deserved it's your time to shine and live your dreams. You got this My beautiful Brave Queen. Stop fighting for their acceptance. You will never get from them If they can't see your worth Darling they ain't your friend they were part of your journey to a much bigger plan. I know you felt your Heart Break more than a couple times Betrayed by the ones You never thought would leave your side. They were brought in your life, To teach you different lessons I know you hurting But it was part of their mission For your healing To open your heart and Soul Show you how to let go And stand on your Own. They put you thru everything That was meant to break you inside But you fought your way back up. Especially thru your darkest times. You held it together. When most people would break. You may loss a couple fights. But the war ain't over yet. I know your constantly contemplating Every choice you made in life Ashamed disappointed with regrets. Daily battle you fight. Darling Stop beating yourself up. Were human we make mistakes. No one can judge your past. Until they have felt your pain. Time to leave it all behind. Dont let it Define who you are. You are the creator of your future. With a beautiful story behind the scars. It took her a moment to realize. As She look back for the last time. Cried out too the Lord I surrender. I need you more than ever by my side. She finally found a strength within. And Fought her way back up. She ain't the same girl You met 5 years ago Lord knows this how was supposed to be. She had to learn this on her own. For the first time she felt at peace. When she set the painful past free. As she smiled and hugged the Lil girl. She forgave her for everything she used to be. You know that Beautiful Broken Lil Girl.That Lil Girl was Me.