Inapropos trois faux pas jokingly blurted out...

yesterday August 30th, 2022.

 

The following fictitious account
predicated upon words spilling
out me mouth before taking time
to think through how sarcastic remark

would affect primary listener.

 

Comments about marital matters

particularly ours (yours truly and wife)

uttered in earshot of the missus
in company of a fellow resident

who befriended us;

hours later, she gave me

a severe dressing down

in tandem with threatening

smacking mine gluteus maximus

(ultimatum never carried out)

viz yule eyes zing painful spanking

for uttering (even in jest)

unseemly unreasonable remark.

 

As iterated above,

she gave me a verbal lashing

unfurling unpleasant feedback

accompanied courtesy expressing

whooping tushy of her spouse,

which turned out as idle threat,

nevertheless verbalized black barbs

vicariously pounded mine posterior...

courtesy forced punishment

qua virtual reality

zealously, viciously, quickly...

causing actual percussive rumpus.

 

Meanwhile vibrations resonated

felt and heard round the world wide web
strongest quaking sensations

occurred upon double mattresses atop bed

within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive,

but woody d'ya believe

drumming, and whipping hindquarters

spurred surging aftershock tremors

launched rocketed dormant pecker
(no fallacy - property yours truly).

 

Imagine slap happy counterpart,

she ain't misbehavin

just being her playful
(think cheeky) self

knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, humiliating, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot buttocks,

 

now subjected simulated

heavy handed wallops
upon derrière, which cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made

feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,

while she obviously disregarded

feebly wailing for nought
grammarian lamely uttering
friggin bloody murder in vain.

 

Zee figurative ball and chain

ain't no sadomasochist,

she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)

as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)

thwacking me fleshy behind

until derriere belonging to yours truly
felt comfortably numb.

Even a** hide from aforementioned scenario

the aforementioned shenanigans

predominantly arose, when

wedded counterpart owns advantage,

whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked

after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

 

What recently began as

whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing

suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband

meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment

at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity

long since stretched out)

wallopping me bum

until flesh heavily bruised.