Prolonged offal bout courtesy constipation... turgid song redux,

a worse hellish fate than perdition really sucks

As of early morning
today - September 8th, 2022,

I could not but barely move

mine whole body felt
analogous to sluggish mollusk
frequent constipation found me

doubled over in gastrointestinal agony

as if elephant stomping on tummy

or red livid with rage.

 

I've re: created how bull
heaver in fiber figuratively thrust his tusk

into lower abdominal area dawn to dusk

ah...voila... hence subsequently
blessed natural laxative,

the magic of Daily Fiber

100% natural psyllium husk
also known as metamucil.

 

Once again sphincter muscle(s)

spasmodically malfunctioned awry

whew suppository unnecessary

despite gastrointestinal stoppage

alimentary canal thwarted

porcelain goddess battlecry

at least seventy two hour time span
lapsed whereby big boy wanted to cry

explaining how yours truly

felt he would die
an undertaking malaise

 

found me experiencing

physical duress vis a vis,

a bowel movement,

wherein waste unable to expel

from the anus of this guy,

which bout with rectal obstruction

found me doubled over

with lower abdominal distress

whereby comfort found me unable to lie

down nor sit upright

 

(with back padded with pillows

against the cellar brick wall),

thus severe bloating a bonus well nigh

and managed on a previous occasion

to muster the means to bare

frigid arctic vortex aire to purchase

the Acme brand Metamucil,

which akin to Drano doth ply

thru the excretory tract

supposedly loosening the stools

 

which optimism (product

didst earn claim to fame)

generated a sigh

if that expressed intent

to cease LivingSocial would try

humph enjoining lxiii

year old married male

to cede victory to the grim reaper,

who would vie

as winner de jure

 

to this common fellow invoking libretto

ohm resistant understudy

waste not want not

allowing, enabling and providing relief,

without successful defecation

despite the oppressive urge

to bolster this Uriah

heep of balled up and tuckered out

five foot and ten inches of lovely bones,

thence mouthing retraction

 

of former thought to cease existing

though a non-bull lever

in any power broker qua mankind

relief at long last
provided posterior answered prayer

yet, this wordsmith

scrutinizes his recurring

pain in the ass jagged torture

and asks a rhetorical

one word question "WHY"?

 

Well now... monumental

poetic challenge recap,

I now craftily abbreviate

(think clogged toilet

synonymous with blockage)

waste matter after days did accumulate

regarding rectal blockage to alleviate

thus imagine impossible

airy mission to defecate

which debilitating scenario

 

(mine) frequent accursed fate

frequently recurring more often

as yours truly ages
i.e. latter day saint

Matthew Scott got older
rectal affliction compromised me

ordinary easy going demeanor to boot

disallowing, disenabling, and not permitting

me - effecting, emulating, and exhaling
Tony the tiger's catchword grrrrrreat

 

if queried about my constitution

when alas... absolute ecstasy found me

expelling bowel movement with effort

weighing approximately 0.71428571 stone

though relieved, nevertheless

the toilet bowl clogged,

prompting me to correct historical records

on two accounts despite

causing potential ruckus

disaster buffs may incriminate

nsync notion huge bowel movement

(mine) took down (analogous
voyage to bottom of sea) toto Lusitania

and actually additionally

caused separate incident

complex edifice (think Titanic)
both sturdy ships of state

former rendered, lifted, foundered...

latter purportedly crashing

into iceberg invariably causing

rising sea levels courtesy

melting glacier (size of Florida) weight.